If you’ve ever had the unfortunate displeasure of following a YouTube beauty guru channel, you’ll eventually realize that most of the big name YouTube beauty gurus all know each other, they all make way too much money, and they all like to start drama. Like . . . a LOT of drama. While I am not an avid follower of these things, somehow I was made aware of the existence of these beauty guru people through memes and the ever-knowing YouTube algorithm. (God bless big tech, she says sarcastically.) Anyway, with drama, comes the inevitable hurt feelings and overstepping, along with real problems like marketing infringement and sometimes even child exploitation. (Oh, the things we overlook in the rich and famous.) Because fans drive a YouTuber’s career more so than a traditional celebrity, it is a good move to apologize for past missteps in an attempt to expiate their past. (Cancel culture, anyone?) Thus comes the rise of the ever popular apology video.
If you’ve never seen one of these, I’ll give you a quick rundown. YouTube apology videos are typically characterized by being insanely long (can be up to forty minutes, or even longer), crocodile tears, false promises, disassociation, and insincere apologies. Most apology videos are demonetized, which means the creator doesn’t make money off the video, which theoretically makes the video appear more “genuine,” even though the only people being fooled are the people making the video. Typically, the creator says something like, “I apologize for how my behavior hurt others,” or “I apologize for being manipulated by (insert name of other person making another apology video here).” As anyone can tell, these aren’t actual apologies—these people apologize to their fans for the fans’ perception of the creator’s behavior, not for the problematic behavior in the first place. Responsibilities are not shouldered properly, or they apologize to the wrong people entirely. That would be like me hitting a family member in public and then apologizing to a witness. My main priority should be apologizing to the person I hit, first for hitting them and then for degrading their reputation in public. YouTubers, though, try to follow a different set of rules.
But you know who nailed this whole false apology thing long before YouTube? Jane Austen with Emma Woodhouse, the main female protagonist in the book Emma.
I have been told time and time again that when Austen wrote Emma, she was writing a protagonist only she could love. Despite this tidbit, I also know that a lot of people absolutely love this book, but it’s rubbed me the wrong way ever since I read it, and since I have no advertisers to please, I can give whatever opinion I like. I personally think it’s more fun to write a rant, and maybe it’ll be more fun for you to read.
Oh, for those who haven’t read this book, spoilers ahead. This review, though, might make a bit more sense if you have read the book, as I’ll be referencing characters with the assumption that you have a vague idea of who they are.
As stated, I don’t like Emma. I think she’s selfish and self-righteous, and I am thoroughly displeased that any man ends up with her, let alone the fabulous catch Mr. Knightly (her sister’s husband’s brother). There are several things about Emma’s behavior that are reprehensible, and most of them are displayed in the last portion of the book.
Don’t get me wrong, Emma is pretty unbearable throughout. Spurred on by the one success she’s ever had, she finds it to be her Mission In Life ™ to make sure everyone is happily married (except herself, of course, as she is above such things as romance and affection.) Emma not only builds up the young Harriet Smith beyond her social station and gives Harriet ambitions beyond what she can achieve, Emma also is tactless and imprudent, indiscriminately giving her opinion on the personal lives of others of whom she knows nothing.
But, those are not the main issues I have with Emma’s character. All of her previous faults could be forgiven. I have no sympathy for her after she insults Mrs. Bates. After this occurrence, in my mind, Emma does nothing to redeem herself.
For those who don’t remember the story (or who don’t particularly mind spoilers), Emma and her friends go on a picnic, and Frank (Emma’s best friend’s stepson) asks everyone at said picnic to tell him one clever thing, two sorta-kinda clever things, or three boring things. (Ah, the games played in Austen’s time. They sound like a hoot.) Mrs. Bates, an elderly woman who has a tendency to prattle, says she’ll have absolutely no problem fulfilling the last requirement. Emma (for some reason) absolutely roasts the old woman, fully agreeing with her and suggesting that Mrs. Bates had better just keep her mouth shut.
Yeah.
Mr. Knightly, being a gentleman, decides at the end of the picnic to give Emma the grace she didn’t give Mrs. Bates—he takes her aside and says that what she did was tactless, saying he’s disappointed in her.
And this is where the YouTube apology part comes into play. You see, before Mr. Knightly told her about her misbehavior, Emma was seemingly unaware of it. She knew she shouldn’t have said it, but after the words were spoken, she didn’t seem to feel badly, nor did she apologize or have the good grace to leave. After Mr. Knightly spoke to her, Emma sat miserably in her carriage—alone—crying on the way back home. Remember those YouTuber crocodile tears? Yeah, I found them.
Now, I would normally consider these tears of contrition, but the rest of the book proves otherwise. Emma goes to Mrs. Bates’ home the next day, and sits with her for a long time, but not once does she actually apologize for what happened at the picnic. (Trust me, it’s not there, I was waiting for it and it never came.) Emma does leave Mrs. Bates’ company with everything all patched up, but I as I read, I got the distinct impression Emma went to assuage her own conscience and not to atone for her wrongdoing. If she were truly sorry, don’t you think she’d say so? Insert classic YouTuber Apology Video move of not shouldering responsibility properly.
My theory was further confirmed when Emma came back to her own home and found Mr. Knightly visiting. To her credit, Emma doesn’t mention what she’s been doing, but when her father asks after Mrs. Bates, Emma and Mr. Knightly share a significant look, and she considers herself back in his good graces.
Again, I ask, dear reader procrastinating by reading this blog, if Emma was trying to make up for insulting Mrs. Bates, why would she care about Knightly’s opinion? As a reader, I felt like I was supposed to feel like Mr. Knightly’s forgiveness mattered more than Mrs. Bates’. In typical YouTuber fashion, Emma apologized to her audience rather than the actual person she wronged.
I could be persuaded to like Emma after all the havoc she caused if this episode had gone differently. I have been in Emma’s situation more times than I can count—I’ve blurted out wretched things to people who didn’t deserve it, and I didn’t apologize, at least not with words. (Sibling apologies are different, okay?) But Emma’s comments were unprovoked and completely untoward. If she had felt badly before Knightly spoke to her, I could easily like her character, but I also understand that sometimes we need people to guide us along a tactful path. I can even forgive the tears—they weren’t in front of anyone, so she wasn’t trying to put on a show for anybody. I don’t even mind that she gets back into Knightly’s good graces. After all, good friends will call you out when you do something wrong, and that’s all he was being–a good friend. But I just can’t quite get over the fact that she never actually apologized. Because of that, the whole thing felt insincere. The tears were frustration over being called out; the apology was just to get back on Knightly’s good side. And boy did she end up on his good side.
I have other problems with Emma’s behavior after this episode. I’m not particularly a fan of how she treats Harriet in the last bit of the book after she realizes they both like the same man. But as they say, all’s fair in love and war.
Perhaps people will say I am being too harsh on Miss Woodhouse. After all, there are a myriad of people who actually do love her, despite the fact that Austen created Emma to please only herself. To her credit, Emma is very relatable specifically because of her flaws. I understood a lot of her motivations (written and unwritten), because I’ve been in situations like hers before. Though I’ve never set people on blind dates together, I have spoken out of turn and said stupid things that were probably better left in my head. All in all, she’s definitely one of the most real characters I’ve ever read.
In my humble opinion, however, Emma is a protagonist only a mother could love, and unfortunately, her father is a widower.